The Stigma Against Single Mothers and Women Over 30
There’s a prevailing narrative in many parts of society that suggests people, particularly men, should not marry or date women who are over 30 years old or those who are single mothers. While this sentiment is often tied to societal expectations, gender norms, and traditional thinking, it’s essential to examine the underlying assumptions and question whether they hold any real merit in today’s world. While some may argue that these rules are valid for certain circumstances, it is important to recognize that not all single mothers or women over 30 fit into this generalized mold. Moreover, such rules do not consider the value of creating a future that prioritizes opportunities and advantages for your children.
In this discussion, we’ll explore how societal norms regarding single mothers and older women often perpetuate biased thinking, how background and status affect a child’s future, and why ensuring that your children have the best possible opportunities should be the primary goal in any decision regarding relationships or partnerships.
In many cultures, especially those that adhere to more conservative values, single mothers and women over the age of 30 are often viewed through a critical lens. There’s a belief that these women are somehow damaged or have baggage, and are less suitable for relationships. They are often seen as carrying emotional scars from their past relationships, particularly those that resulted in children outside of marriage.
This viewpoint, while still prevalent in some circles, fails to account for the complexities of human relationships and the realities that many women face. The reasons why a woman becomes a single mother are varied and often beyond her control. Some women are left to raise children on their own due to divorce, the death of a spouse, or other unforeseen circumstances. The idea that a woman who has had a child should be labeled as “damaged goods” is unfair and rooted in harmful stereotypes.
Moreover, the idea that women over 30 are past their prime or less desirable is similarly rooted in ageist thinking. Society has long celebrated youth and beauty, often associating them with fertility and attractiveness. However, this perspective fails to acknowledge the value and experience that comes with age. Women over 30 may be more established in their careers, have more life experience, and possess the wisdom that comes with navigating different life stages. These women may offer more than just beauty—they offer stability, emotional maturity, and the ability to build a lasting relationship.
In contrast, the idea that single mothers or women over 30 are unworthy of love or commitment is rooted in outdated societal constructs that do not consider the full spectrum of human experiences. When we look beyond these surface-level assumptions, we see that many single mothers and women in their 30s and beyond can offer valuable qualities to a relationship, such as resilience, emotional intelligence, and a strong sense of responsibility.
Paulo’s Daughter and the Power of Privilege
One of the most compelling counterexamples to the notion that single mothers are less valuable partners comes from the story of Paulo’s daughter. Last year, Paulo’s daughter gave birth to a daughter, and the girl took her mother’s maiden name, Okoye. The child was born to a single mother, but she is now being showered with love by CDQ, a famous and successful Nigerian singer.
If we follow the narrow view that single mothers are to be avoided at all costs, this would seem like an anomaly. Here is a woman, who is a single mother, but who has a support system, wealth, and influence—both from her own family and from her relationship with a high-profile public figure. Her background, the wealth and opportunities her father has provided, and the position she holds in society give her an edge that many other single mothers might not have.
This case illustrates an important point: while the status of being a single mother is often frowned upon, what truly matters is the circumstances surrounding that status. Paulo’s daughter is an example of someone who, despite being a single mother, comes from a family with significant resources and influence. This has opened doors for her that many other single mothers might never have access to. The notion that all single mothers are in a disadvantaged position because of their status as parents is not universally true, especially when the woman in question comes from a background of privilege and financial stability.
It is crucial to recognize that the narrative surrounding single mothers is multifaceted. Not all single mothers are struggling or lacking in resources. Many are well-established, independent, and successful in their own right, and they deserve to be treated with the same respect and consideration as anyone else.
The Importance of Giving Your Children a Life of Opportunities
In today’s world, one of the most important things a parent can do is to ensure that their children have access to opportunities that will secure their future. This goes far beyond simply ensuring that they attend a good school or have a strong work ethic—it’s about providing them with a background that allows them to thrive, regardless of the challenges they may face.
One of the key advantages that children born into wealthy or well-established families have is the access to networks and resources that can propel them to success. When a child is born into privilege, they are often afforded opportunities that children from less affluent backgrounds do not have. This can include access to better education, influential mentors, and career connections that open doors.
For example, Paulo’s daughter, who is a single mother, has likely benefited from the influence and wealth of her father. Her access to people in high positions, including CDQ, shows that her background and family connections have played a role in her ability to navigate the social and professional spheres that many others would struggle to reach.
Contrast this with the situation of a child born into poverty, without any family connections or resources to fall back on. While this child may be equally talented and capable, the lack of opportunities—whether due to a lack of money, social connections, or exposure to different industries—may limit their potential. This is why it is important to consider the future that you are building for your children when making decisions about relationships, partnerships, and your own social standing.
The rich will continue to marry the rich because it’s not only about love but about securing a better future for their children. The idea is that by consolidating resources and maintaining strong social ties, the children born into these unions will be born into a world of opportunity. This dynamic creates a cycle in which wealth and influence are passed down from one generation to the next, while those without these advantages may struggle to access the same opportunities.
The Limitations of Toxic Rules: Reexamining Societal Expectations
Societal rules and expectations often place undue pressure on individuals to conform to narrow standards, particularly when it comes to marriage and family. These rules—such as the belief that men should not marry women over 30 or single mothers—are often designed for the poor, those who do not have the privilege of wealth, education, or social mobility. For the average person struggling to make ends meet, these rules might seem logical, as they are tied to the idea that maintaining traditional family structures and marrying younger women would lead to greater stability.
However, these rules do not take into account the full range of factors that contribute to a person’s value and the future they can offer their children. By adhering to these outdated rules, individuals may be limiting their own potential and the opportunities available to their children. Instead of focusing on the age or marital status of a potential partner, it is more important to evaluate what each person brings to the table in terms of resources, ambition, and the ability to provide a solid foundation for the future.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is allowing societal pressures or toxic norms to dictate your decisions about relationships. The world has changed, and so have the opportunities available to individuals, particularly women. What matters most is not the label society attaches to someone based on their age, relationship history, or parental status, but the resources, values, and support systems they bring to the relationship and, most importantly, the opportunities they can offer to their children.
The Girl God Is Helping: Eshi Ayo
At the end of the day, it is about creating a future of stability, security, and opportunity for your children. Eshi Ayo, the girl God is helping, is a prime example of how background, privilege, and opportunity intersect. While her life may not be without its challenges, her background provides her with a foundation that many other children lack. This foundation can set her up for success and allow her to pursue a life of her choosing, free from the limitations that often come with being born into a less privileged family.
As parents, it is essential to prioritize securing a future that gives your children an edge in life—one that allows them to overcome obstacles and seize opportunities. This can only be achieved by breaking free from toxic rules and embracing a broader view of relationships, family, and opportunity. It’s not about judging a woman for her past or labeling her based on her age or motherhood status, but rather about creating a life that will allow your children to flourish and thrive.
In the end, it’s not about conforming to societal expectations or adhering to outdated rules. It’s about securing the best possible future for your children—one that is filled with opportunities, growth, and success. And that, ultimately, should be the primary focus in any decision you make about relationships and family.
Excerpt from Eashi Ayo
If you like ehn, use all the time you should use in securing a great future for your children in arguing that men should not marry or date single mothers and 30 plus ladies. The only single mothers these rules may work with even though they don’t always work are those without value attached to their lives.
Paulo’s daughter had a daughter last year and the girl took her maiden name, Okoye as a surname.
Today, the same lady is being showered love by a famous and successful singer, CDQ. Isn’t she a single mother? Dey play. She is well-to-do. The life her father has prepared for her has makes it easy for her to have access to people of certain class and has given her an edge over a born-again firgin in the village.
See ehh, in all you do, make securing a life with advantages for your children a priority, in fact, if that is not your goal, no born.
Children born into a good life enjoy an easy life. The rich will keep marrying the rich because where the poorr wan see the rich marry? Even when you luckily do, your background affects your confidence and the way you are received to an extent.
Most toxxic rules are made for the poor.
You couldn’t choose your roots and background, please ensure to give your children a background that opens them to opportunities rather than stress and limitations.
The girl God is helping, Eshi Ayo
