Ayola and the Rules of Madness: How Nnewi’s Madmen Union Enforced Standards
Ayola was one of the most popular mad men in Nnewi. He was also the chairman of Nnewi Union of Mad Men, Nnewichi branch. His office was at Amuko junction.
He manned his unit with the firmness required of an astute leader. He ensured that mad people operating in his zone followed the basic rule of madness in Nnewi.
There were actually three basic rules. Ensure you go back to your house everyday. You should never eat directly from the bin. Finally, while on duty ensure you are a bit covered.
Stark nakedness in the name of madness was completely frowned at. So, madness in Nnewi had a pattern. And because of this, it commanded respect. It was a thing of honour to be mad in Nnewi.
Now, you understand why Ayola had been worried with the new influx of mad people from the neighboring Ihembosi, Ozubulu and Nnobi into Nnewi.
Two weeks ago, while on his night patrol, he saw a mad woman sleeping in Orie Agbo market. Upon enquiry, he discovered the mad woman was from Nnobi.
He asked if where she came from there was no method to madness? The woman was stark naked and was also incoherent.
Ayola had to drag her down to the boundary between Nnewichi and Nnobi in the dead of the night and warned her to mad her madness within her jurisdiction. He told her that madness in Nnewi had standard. Anaghi awi ala umu azi na Nnewi.
Ayola had been waiting for their monthly meeting which held at Eke Ama Obi every last Eke Okwu of the month to come by. He wanted to report this new development of untrained mad people from neighboring towns encroaching into their territory to their leader Ntamu.
Ntamu since his inauguration as Eze Ndi Ala had been soft. He reminisced on their past leader Ngozi. Ngozi was the best dressed among the mad people in Nnewi. Whenever you saw Ngozi you would desire to be mad.
Ngozi made madness attractive. He was the one that created the rule book for madness in Nnewi. He always drilled it into their ears that anything worth doing was worth doing well. If destiny had decided for them to be mad, then they should carry out this role with utmost dignity.
This was why it broke his heart that the sound system set up by Ngozi for being mad was what Ntamu was supervising into disrepute.
Ayola blamed the law of rotation. if not for the law of rotation instituted by Nzuko Ora Nnewi, Ntamu would not have been Eze Ndi Ala. Out of all the mad people in Umudim, which it was their turn to provide a leader, Ntamu who could not afford to build a house despite being mad for more than thirty years was the best among the lots.
Ayola wondered why Umudim always found it difficult producing stellar mad men?
Ayola had no problem with mad people from other towns coming to Nnewi to ply their trade. His worry was them coming into Nnewi with their own unpolished system instead of integrating themselves with the existing system of madness in Nnewi.
He remembered his school teacher at Nkwo Central always said, when you are in Rome you behave like Romance. This was why he wondered why can’t these mad people from neighboring towns behave like Romance? Why? Why can’t they just Romance?
Asala Stories #6/24
Ezeikolomuo
Credit: Nze Tobe Osigwe