I’m Done Clubbing. I Think It’s Time to Get Married – BBNaija star

When Tolani Shobajo, popularly known as Tolanibaj, announced to her fans on Snapchat that she was “done clubbing” and now thinks it’s time to get married, the statement carried far more weight than just one celebrity’s musings. At 31, the former Big Brother Naija housemate and disc jockey is part of a generation navigating the complex balance between self-expression, nightlife culture, career ambitions, and societal expectations around settling down. Her words spark conversations not only about her personal journey but also about the broader lifestyle trends of young Nigerians.

This essay explores Tolanibaj’s declaration in depth — the meaning behind her decision, the cultural backdrop of Nigerian nightlife, the pressures of marriage, and the shifting priorities of millennials and Gen Zs.

To understand why her statement resonated, one must first trace Tolanibaj’s story. Born in the United States but raised in Lagos, she built her public identity through Big Brother Naija, where her bold personality and outspoken nature made her stand out. After leaving the show, she ventured into music, becoming a DJ and lifestyle influencer. Known for her confidence, sass, and nightlife presence, Tolanibaj became synonymous with the vibrant Lagos club scene — a world of music, lights, and endless weekend parties.

That’s why her admission — “I no longer enjoy clubbing. I keep forcing it” — feels like a public break-up with the very lifestyle that helped define her celebrity brand.

Clubbing in Lagos, Abuja, and other Nigerian cities is not just a pastime; it is a culture. For many young adults, especially celebrities and influencers, nightlife represents networking, escape, status, and excitement. Clubs are often where deals are made, collaborations are born, and reputations are cemented.

For women like Tolanibaj, clubbing also represents independence and agency. It is a declaration of “I am here, I am visible, and I am in control of my fun.” Yet, as she admits, what once felt thrilling now feels repetitive and empty. That moment of self-awareness — when the lights, music, and endless champagne nights no longer hold meaning — is what she is now facing.

“I think it’s time to get married,” she said simply. For some, it might sound like a casual remark, but in Nigerian society, where marriage is often seen as the ultimate milestone for women, such a declaration holds enormous weight.

Marriage in Nigeria is not just a personal choice but also a cultural and family expectation. Women, particularly those in their late 20s and early 30s, face increasing pressure to “settle down.” Parents, relatives, and even social media followers constantly remind female celebrities of their biological clocks and the traditional markers of success.

Tolanibaj’s words echo this broader reality — a point in life where personal desires intersect with cultural expectations.

Interestingly, while she expressed readiness for marriage, she also admitted her fears: “Marriage is a scary commitment. I don’t know if I’ll still enjoy it after some months.”

This duality captures the modern dilemma. On one hand, there is the yearning for companionship, stability, and family. On the other, there is the anxiety about permanence, monotony, and the fear of losing personal freedom. For women like Tolanibaj, who have lived boldly and independently, marriage is not just about love; it is about reconfiguring identity.

Her exhaustion with clubbing is not unique. Many millennials eventually hit a point where nightlife no longer excites them the way it did at 21 or 25. This phenomenon, sometimes called “party fatigue,” reflects a deeper shift in lifestyle priorities.

At 31, Tolanibaj may now crave travel, intimacy, shared experiences, and quieter joys over neon lights and thumping speakers. Her statement about preferring to be outside with a partner — “What am I looking for outside if I have a partner? We can be outside together, maybe travelling” — reflects this evolution. Fun, for her, is no longer about noise but about meaningful companionship.

Being a public figure complicates this transition. Tolanibaj’s life has unfolded under the scrutiny of millions who have opinions on her choices. Her declaration about marriage will inevitably spark debates: some will praise her maturity, while others may mock her past or speculate about her readiness.

Social media amplifies these transitions, turning personal reflections into public discourse. But in many ways, that is the power of celebrity confession: it normalizes the struggles that everyday people face in private.

Tolanibaj’s declaration also raises questions about what it means to be a modern Nigerian woman. Can one be ambitious, independent, nightlife-loving, and still long for traditional commitments like marriage? The answer is yes — but the balance is never simple.

Many women in her age group find themselves walking this tightrope, negotiating between career ambitions, personal pleasures, and the cultural expectations of marriage and motherhood. Her honesty about her fears and desires makes her relatable, not just to fans but to a generation in transition.

Her move away from clubbing toward marriage is not just about personal choice; it is symbolic of a broader generational shift. Many young Nigerians, once defined by nightlife and “outside life,” are now reevaluating what happiness means. The search is shifting from external thrills to internal peace — from fleeting experiences to lasting bonds.

What comes next for her? If she truly embraces marriage, it will mark a new chapter of reinvention. She may channel her energy into family, different business ventures, or even advocacy for women navigating similar life transitions. Or she may still oscillate between the two worlds, as many do, balancing independence with partnership.

Whatever her path, her candidness ensures that fans will continue to see themselves reflected in her journey.

Tolanibaj’s confession, simple yet profound, captures the universal human journey: the movement from one season of life to another. From the dazzling lights of Lagos clubs to the quiet dreams of partnership, her story is about growth, evolution, and the courage to embrace change.

In saying “I’m done clubbing. I think it’s time to get married,” she is not just closing a chapter — she is opening another, one that countless young people in Nigeria and beyond will resonate with.